Welcome To The Sausage Party

After much analysis and serious drinking, it seems to me that considering all of the tolerance and intolerance propaganda, if you add it all up there is after all only one type of man in the world. This article will answer the age old question - just who exactly is gay?

Everyone knows that there are gays, you see them downtown wearing chaps, in hair salons, spending way too much time lingering in public washrooms, etc. No one denies they exist in numbers.

Then, you have the heterosexuals - those who profess not to be gay, but can identify exactly what is and is not gay. There's a whole spectrum of these guys, from the barely still in the closet metrosexuals to the sandal wearing minivan driving suburban "Mr. Mom" to the redneck who still believes it's okay to feel threatened by change and beat people up who are different from they are. All of these guys, no matter where they are in the spectrum are sure that they are not gay, and can explain exactly what the differences are between themselves and gays, and show you exactly where the line is that they steer clear of.

But, have you ever heard people say that those who accuse others of being gay and know exactly what is gay are in fact gay themselves and trying to cover it up? It makes sense that if you are an expert on what is gay, that you must know something about it. Therefore, by that logic, there is only one type of person in the world - those who are gay. Some embrace it, some don't. But whether you're in the closet or not, just remember that the world is one big sausage party - and you're invited. Want a hot dog?